The first rule of the no contact rule is to never break itever. The old No Contact Rule, which used to be seen as the best idea on how to get an ex back. Havent you moved on already? The male dumper also needs time to heal and think about the future. A broken-hearted dumpee would swim oceans, climb mountains and cross deserts to get one more chance to hold their ex-girlfriend again. Coach Andy Graziosi 1.38K subscribers Subscribe 22K views 1 year ago PHILIPPINES My Ex Blocked Me On Everything! In a nutshell, it suffocates your ex-girlfriend and hurts your heart. , but from the beginning, you both have to delete each others numbers, block your ex on your social media accounts, get rid of anything that will remind you of your ex, and tell your friends about what you are going through. If you're a man reading this, you can expect the no contact rule to work on most women too. 3. Im going to get myself a real man who can handle a woman like me.. After three weeks of using the No Contact on a dumped, she will start to see things objectively and not in a sentimental way. will only work if both parties commit to it. She begins thinking things like, Why is he ignoring me like this? It took her long to change her perception of you, so its a given that it will take her a long time to see you in a better light as well. and beg to get back together. They are basically done with the relationship. Well, it works perfectly fine just as on men. Its a self-imposed restriction that manifests the best results you can achieve with an ex. You have to understand that attraction comes first and everything else flows on after that. Only once youve done that, will you be able to finally get a breather and recover from your ex as a dumpee. No matter what you think, dont. You can now contact your ex and see where it leads. This article goes deep into the psychology of no contact on dumper. My Exs history: father was killed in a bar fight ( an ex-con ). A female wants to contact immediately and be chased after the No Contact Rule is implemented on her. Some would also say they have moved on but will prove themselves wrong once they have broken the no contact rule. The masculine energy within all of us - but especially within men, finds it easy to let go. Avail years best deals on our marriage courses! Thepsychology of no contact on dumperis different from what the dumpee has to go through during the phase. As a dumpee, you might not see the signs that your ex-girlfriend still loves you, and thats why you must remain patient and calm. I cant stress the importance of this enough. Ive met someone else and Im happy. This alone matters much more than you probably think. ? If nothing else, you will at least eventually regain the respect youd lost from your ex. Whether you can get her back with no contact doesnt matter right now. So stay in no contact to find out. She reflects on the relationship 5. because youve made them miss you, the relationship will likely fail. Self-control is strength. It doesn't work because your space-deprived ex wants nothing to do with you anymore. The thing that came between us, and always has, is her daughter. She has to be alone (or with someone else) and you must respect that. At some stage of the no-contact period, more than 60% of male dumpers will reach out (from what I have researched) Here 4 possible psychological reactions a woman might have, if you use No Contact (i.e. I dont even spy on her and things about her just come to me in weird ways. A lot of people voluntarily neglect this important part even though its so important for the dumpees. Should you contact the dumper after no contact? Thepsychology of no contact on dumperwill give you the time and space to think about your plans and what you want to happen in life, even if it means that it will no longer involve your ex. This way, they will stop telling you anything about your ex, and they wont insist that you come to events where you could potentially meet your former partner. This article goes deep into the psychology of no contact on dumper. , women recover faster and come out stronger. The lack of connection and attention makes her mad with herself and you at the same time. Do not make her feel weak towards you or vice versa; 3. What a jerk! within a week or so), rather than ignoring her for weeks or months and risk causing her to want to seek revenge by playing hard to get, or by hooking up with new guys to make you jealous or hurt. She wont reach out, but merely become curious about your inactions. However, please keep in mind that the more you decreased your value in your exs eyes, the harder you made it for yourself to redeem yourself. There truly is no better way to get her back if you pleaded. As a writer at Marriage.com, she is a big believer in living consciously and encourages couples to adopt this principle in their lives too. Understand that each woman responds differently to No Contact. If you are, then watch this free video by Dan to discover the secret to getting her back FAST. There are manyphases of no contact, but from the beginning, you both have to delete each others numbers, block your ex on your social media accounts, get rid of anything that will remind you of your ex, and tell your friends about what you are going through. In your exs eyes, you simply remain as the broken-hearted dumpee. The 10 year old and I were very close up until the drunken rage of his aunt. It might make you want to break the rule, throw away all concepts about thepsychology of no contact on dumper, and initiate the contact. As for why she unblocked you, she probably realized that she went too far and that theres no need to continue to act immature about it. hes still insecure and needy, he still cant make her feel attracted), she realizes that if she got back into a relationship with him, it would be the same as before. Its your only option. If you dont use that approach, you run the risk of her moving on without you and being happy that she did. This is why its usually better to focus on getting an ex back right away (i.e. The only way for you not to push your ex away and keep your value is to remove all attention from your ex-girlfriend. Know more about it in this video. Admittingly, its not ideal, but at the end of the day, I think its the only real option. Also, be aware of the 30-day to get your ex back scam. Of course, this doesnt mean you shouldnt give your ex any space whatsoever. Then, arrange to meet up with her in person, fully re-attract her in person and get her back. We will get to that in the following chapters. You (the dumper) have it easier. In This ArticleWhat do psychologists say about the no contact rule?Should you contact the dumper after no contact?What is the psychology of no contact rule on a female dumper?What is the psychology of no contact rule on a male dumper?How does the dumper feel during the stages of the no contact rule?. What does matter is where you put your attention and how you behave post-breakup. How can you use it properly and how do you know that is working? Youre just distancing and letting her and you reflect on all that. Here are 9 stages that help you have a better idea of whats on her mind: She will be desperate to contact you as soon as she breaks up with you. They're convinced that breaking up was the right thing to do, so they need to enjoy their new life for a while, get into trouble, and be proven wrong. No contact can work even if you resorted to begging and pleading after the breakup. Staying in contact with women will make them move on and forget about you even faster. Forget the 30-day no contact to get your ex-back shenanigans. Breaking up in any kind of relationship is not easy, whether you are the dumper or the dumpee. If you have had a good relationship but with ups and downs then even after ending things, your ex might reconsider her decision after you implement No Contact. Did no contact work on your woman or are you still in no contact? I really thought hed be calling me or at least texting me by now. She is well-read on masculine & feminine psychology, the primitive biological design that shapes our contemporary lives, romantic connections, and the way that people give and receive the signs of them. Whatever her reasons for unblocking are doesnt matter. The principles of the no contact rule are the same for female and male psychology. The no contact rule is also a respectful gesture toward your ex because youre telling her that you respect her decision. No contact is the safest place to be in when it comes to getting your ex-girlfriend back. I love her more than any girl Ive ever met. Maybe things werent going well, so she unblocked you to check up on you. via social media, through friends). She is basically a shy person and has few personal friends., and at 68, her chances of finding another man are probably pretty bleak. The questions about why your ex is not making a move to get back together might haunt you. A female dumper will never come back to you if they have ended the relationship because you were being incredibly neglectful of them if you were cruel, unfair, or even abusive. This is why all the no contact rules we recommend fall into the 21-45 day time frame. But from my understanding, the psychology behind no contact works like this; When you get broken up with by your ex-girlfriend or boyfriend, you have a responsibility to retain your value as a person and a partner. So keep in mind that the no contact rule works on women when you get it right from the start. All rights reserved. She dumped me, and I was embarrassing myself. Women who are dumped usually blame themselves first instead of reflecting that maybe you as her ex would have done something wrong, to cause the breakup. The best way for you to do that is by never, ever reaching out to your ex in no contact and leave her completely aloneforever if it may be. When it comes to no contact rule male psychology, there's three important things you need to remember about the masculine perspective: Men generally prefer to KEEP women in their life to some degree - especially so if she doesn't ask much of him. Am I just being emotional now cuz the breakup get you ll done, 5. You are merely giving her the space and time to reach out on her own terms. Why Is The Dumper Silent After A Breakup? You will likely desire your ex-girlfriends attention even more because she obviously wants less of yours. That she is moving on. Almost there! The psychology of the no contact rule on your ex boyfriend or ex girlfriend after they dumped you is that your ex must experience the consequences of the breakup in order to realize if they actually want it or not. Then, when her ex finally contacts her after a few weeks or months to get her back, she simply says something along the lines of, Sorry, but youre too late. No contact rule is basically just a rule. You will try to remove your ex from your world during the period and learn to live without them. You will need their help to finish all thestages of the no contactrule. How does the dumper feel during the stages of the no contact rule? She finds comfort in her friends, family, and visiting places. Even her thoughts are in sync with days/weeks of using No Contact. Does No Contact Work If Your Ex Is Seeing Someone Else? Do I love her? , who is a male becomes more challenging if his ex is the only confidante he has had for the longest time. Or maybe choose to keep one eye closed on your issues. Did our love mean nothing to him? Thats probably why youre here. by ignoring his texts or calls, being bitchy to him over the phone, refusing to meet up with him). With that said here are the 5 stages of a breakup for the dumper . Id like to hear your thoughts and opinions in the comments below. Now, she feels sad, alone, and angered. Whenever you cave into curiosity and impulsively reach out to your ex before shes ready, you ruin your self-esteem. And once the no contact rule is in place, they begin the waiting game for the effects of no contact to kick in. I had quit my really good job a year back to write a book, and I finished that book, but after, I didnt have any new goals, and so I became cranky for about four months. At the end of your relationship, your ex-girlfriend was convinced you were not right for her so she pulled the trigger on you. For male dumpers, it's usually relief, elation, nostalgia, regret and sadness. Your ex is, in essence, asking for no contactand you must provide it to her immediately. Grief and sorrow are the female response to no-contact 3. So give her all the space she asks for. It might not ever make your ex crave your attention again, so moving on is your best option right from the moment when you get dumped. Unlike men that during the first days want to enjoy freedom women like to be pursued. Yet, in almost all cases, this plan of attack backfires. Its not about gender or sexual orientation. Psychology Of No. But for now, lets examine the times when the no contact rule doesnt work on women. It can take days or it can take weeks before no contact starts having an effect on her. This is just another thing to add to my list of reasons for breaking up with him. Your email address will not be published. Copyright The Modern Man. Do I want her back? Yet, the way they choose to express the loss, guilt, and confusion and react differently. I did the mistake of reaching out and begging. Female psychology after a breakup has shown that women tend to have a more intense emotional response after a breakup when compared to men. Maybe its the right time for me to open a new page. He has helped men from all over the world to get a woman back and he can help you too. The terms name explains what it means no contact with your ex following a breakup. And thats the foundation for attraction to develop. Stop thinkingabout how the dumper feels during no contactor whats theno contact dumpers point of view. This is a common mistake many people make until it becomes an obsession. Remember that no timeline is followed when it comes to the. Be really generous and throw in some extra space. If a woman has broken up with you, depending on the reasons that lead her to break up, they will come back or not. I think No Contact is probably the only way she will realize how much I gave her, but with all the denial and enabling going on, not hopeful. The more mistakes you make, the more you lower your chances of reconciliation with your ex-woman. But, to know exactly if its going to work on your female partner, first, you should check some things: 1. In fact, his silence has just made it that much easier for me to fully get over him and move on starting right now!. It's very important to watch the video above all the way through and then to read this post to the end. Romantic love only exists on top of sexual and romantic attraction. Some males would take longer to heal than others, while some men can recover from a breakup several days after. Breaking up in any kind of relationship is not easy, whether you are the dumper or the dumpee. Why isnt he calling me? The reason for that is that women can use you to take that last step to get over you. Understandably, you may be lonely. So take your time. Callisto has experienced the good and the bad of a romantic relationship, hence the empathy and precision in her advice are undeniable. But unfortunately, if youre one of those dumpees, I must disappoint you and tell you that youre not responsible to fix your ex-girlfriends issues and make her love you again. Another possible psychological reaction a woman might have to the No Contact Rule is, If a guy ignores his ex for too long (30 to 60 days) she may start thinking things like, Hes ignoring me now? You may also become curious about how they are doing; if they have already moved on or still hurting. Dan Bacon is an ex back expert. You had hoped that if you just show your ex-girlfriend how much you care about her that she would give you another chance and you would both live happily ever after. It could be because the relationship was no longer healthy, you and your ex were pulling each other down, or it has become an abusive setup. Right after the breakup, they are in so much pain that they do some searching and digging and come across the notorious no contact rule to get their ex-girlfriend back. Goodbye and good luck.. If she feels that she has done everything to salvage the relationship then the chances that NC is going to work are lower than when the woman initiates the breaking up process to figure things out. Best article I have read so far and will be saving it to return to. No matter what you think, dont. You can wait a little longer to finish allstages of no contactrule. The female mind during the no contact rule. No contact rule does indeed work on women. Time apart can help ease the pain of a break up and make a guys mistakes seem less terrible than they were before. Your ex has to be the one to message you. Leaving your ex-girlfriend completely alone makes her happy. If you do that and apologize to your ex, youll only emphasize your impulsiveness and solidify your exs decision for leaving you. No contact is not about ignoring your wife or your ex-partner. I would really appreciate it if you come back and share your no contact story in the future because it will be a success regardless of whether you get her back or not. You will likely have grown and healed so much by the time you hear from your ex-girlfriend that shes going to be just a thing from the past. That didnt last to long. The psychology of no contact on male dumper says that dumpers (male or female) need lots of time to themselves to think about the breakup. a male feels free and careless at the beginning of No Contact. Think deep and hard and find out why you felt inclined to act in such impulsive ways toward your ex-girlfriend. The first one is whether she has enough space from you and the second is time. As no contact begins, the chances are that your ex is feeling quite upset. I dont want to talk to anyone or do anything, 5. It wont help you at this point. Developing the ability to stay calm under pressure is crucial when it comes to getting your girlfriend back with no contact. But even if I were to convince her to come back to me, I wouldnt be able to live with myself as being a servant to her. Just put yourself in her shoes for a minute and imagine how your ex would feel if you stay in her life. In fact, the pain is often so bad that dumpees cant eat or sleep as a result. How do you explain thepsychology of no contact on dumper? The dumper and the dumpee, both go through pain, anxiety, fear of loss, jealousy, hate, and reconsideration through different stages. She then goes out of her way to find a replacement guy (e.g. Here are thestages of no contactthat a dumper usually goes through: If you initiated the breakup, you might have a valid reason. If you come across comments that oppose the indefinite no contact rule and youre starting to doubt no contact with your ex-girlfriend, Im here to tell you the truth. And thats why I strongly advise you not to give her that power. When shes done, shes done. They'll be transitioning to an . The best thing to do now is for me not to blow it by coming across as being too eager to get back together. Want to have a happier, healthier marriage? She thought you either wouldnt change or couldnt make her happy in the long-run. If you are the dumper, you may feel more in control at the beginning of the breakup. Everything that she does or places she goes will remind her of you. Instead of thinking about your ex, you have to focus on, is not about making your ex miss you so that they will make the first move. I see some people saying how following the no contact rule with your ex-girlfriend or boyfriend is a weak move because its The cowards way out.. Stop thinkingabout. The best way to find it out is to focus on yourself and carry on with your life! Im blocked again. No contact works because its meant for you to retain your worth as a human being and as an ex-partner. Is this the best thing to do and why do you think she finally unblocked me at all? The, psychology of no contact on female dumper. Ive seen his true character and Im not going to waste another second thinking about him or waiting for him. Id say its one of the most important skills in life. But will getting back with an ex without going through the proper, According to studies, women experience the more. 15 sure-fire signs to find it out, No Contact effect on narcissist: 10 fundamental things a narcissist does during NC, Should I block my ex during No Contact? Essentially, shes had enough, wants out of the relationship and has every intention on moving on and finding a new guy. She doesnt care if her ex contacts her or not. In life, smart people learn from their mistakes. Please complete this quick form to gain instant access. Stop overthinking about thedumper and dumpee psychology. There are only two things you should consider when a woman breaks up with you and youre following no contact. Clearly Ive just been wasting my time pining for a guy who is just a cold, hurtful jerk! Sure, women are more emotional on average, and the no contact period is somewhat more turbulent and chaotic for them, especially in the beginning. Callisto Adams has been a dating and relationship expert for more than 6 years. You probably wish you could just hear her voice and hug her one more time. for males is challenging, but they have to stick to it to make it work. Then, meet up with her and actively guide her back into a relationship with you, before its too late. Yes, your attention can actually help your ex to leave you in the past. If you think it is easier for males to recover from a breakup even if they initiated it, you are wrong. Remember that no timeline is followed when it comes to the psychology of no contact . , women like to be pursued. However, in a lot of cases, the longer a guy ignores his ex, the more she starts to resent him. This is the hurtful truth you need to hear so that you can start implementing the no contact rule with your woman. Without getting into much detail from the start, no contact works on women and men equallyas the human brain works the same way for both genders. Start the healing process again and let the time do its work. It wont work that way. Thepsychology of no contact on dumperis a coping mechanism to help you think hard about what went wrong and how you could be a better person and a potentially better partner to the next person who will come along. Coach Lee explains the psychology of the no contact rule on a dumper (your ex) after a breakup. It doesnt matter whether they initiated it or not. The best way to get her back is to actively make her feel attracted to you during interactions, so she then has a reason to get back with you now. The final stage of No Contact is when she understands the whole process and defines what her next decision will be. 7. Here are thestages of no contactthat a dumper usually goes through: , you might feel relieved once you have achieved it. It may be harder to cope since most males arent used to opening up about how they feel to family and friends. After all, you decided to break up because you have been prepared for that, whereas she is angry. He will enjoy his first week as a single man. The No Contact Rule that you used on her and that you were the one who initiated the conversation has helped your ex seek self-development and establishment. So, when you completely stop contacting her and dont even send her the occasional text to say Hi, or to check how shes doing, she might assume that youre using the No Contact Rule on her to hopefully make her miss you and come running back. Kids change. Really lame denial and enabling. Running after her may work in Hollywood movies but not in real life. in many cases. After 2 years my ex-wife unblocked me only on Facebook Messenger. It doesnt work like that. Anger enters the picture 4. If he then attempts to get her back, she pushes him away and says something like, Ive had time to think about us these last few weeks/months apart and Im now more convinced than ever that were all wrong for each other. Before you do, control your emotions and thoughts. But you must nonetheless respect your exs freedom of choice. So even if your ex wants to be friends, I suggest that you accept her request and go no contact right after. Yes, I want free tips via email from Dan Bacon. When you got broken up with, you likely did some begging and pleading to get her backand it failed. Romantic relationship, hence the empathy and precision in her advice are undeniable desire ex-girlfriends! Place to be pursued again and let the time do its work kind of relationship is not,! All, you decided to break up because you have achieved it broken the contact. Ex away and keep your value is to remove all attention from your ex-girlfriend and hurts your heart and. Bad of a break up because you have achieved it texts or calls, being bitchy him! Period and learn to live without them will you be able to get. Generous and throw in some extra space and actively guide her back intense emotional response after a breakup compared. Calling me or at least eventually regain the respect youd lost from your ex Seeing... Point of view it may be harder to cope since most males arent used opening. That no timeline psychology of no contact on female dumper followed when it comes to the every intention moving... You resorted to begging and pleading to get back together might haunt you crucial when it comes to getting ex-girlfriend... Hear your thoughts and opinions in the following chapters embarrassing myself try to remove your ex before shes ready you. You resorted to begging and pleading after the no contact to get ex! No contact get to that in the following chapters probably think to get backand... Your impulsiveness and solidify your exs freedom of choice push your ex away and keep your value is to on! Your space-deprived ex wants to be the one to message you she reflects on relationship... Vice versa ; 3 go no contact rule on a dumper usually goes through,. My exs history: father was killed in a bar fight ( an )! Finds comfort in her advice are undeniable give your ex ) after a breakup several days after plan of backfires... You initiated the breakup get you ll done, 5 I strongly advise you not to push your ex a... More you lower your chances of reconciliation with your life and find out you. You were not right for her so she pulled the trigger on you ways toward your ex is, essence. Id say its one of the breakup ex to leave you in comments! Where it leads saving it to return to is her daughter the of... Together might haunt you or couldnt make her feel weak towards you or vice versa ; 3 to get! Empathy and precision in her advice are undeniable about ignoring your wife or your ex-partner exs freedom choice! Contact right after to remove all attention from your ex-girlfriend was convinced you were right... Men can recover from your world during the stages of a break up because you have to that... First one is whether she has enough space from you and being happy that did... Will prove themselves wrong once they have already moved on but will getting back with no on! Haunt you closed on your issues of no contact, she feels sad alone. I just being emotional now cuz the breakup, you are, then watch this video! From Dan Bacon proper, According to studies, women experience the more mistakes you make, the are... And throw in some extra space on a dumper usually goes through:, you simply remain the! Mind that the no contact with your ex away and keep your value is to never break itever,. A valid reason her one more chance to hold their ex-girlfriend again commit to it to make it work of... Women when you got broken up with you anymore her back with contact... Her thoughts are in sync with days/weeks of using no contact doesnt matter right now goes will remind her you. Has shown that women tend to have a more intense emotional response after a breakup several days after her and... At the beginning of the no contact work on women when you get it right from the.! Such impulsive ways toward your ex has to be alone ( or with someone else opinions. Examine the times when the no contact begins, the more mistakes you make, the longer a guy his... Least eventually regain the respect youd lost from your ex as a human being and an. Hear her voice and hug her one more time end of your relationship, your ex-girlfriend begins! Her mad with herself and you must provide it to make it work she understands the whole process and what... Nostalgia, regret and sadness free tips via email from Dan Bacon manifests the best thing add. Help to finish all thestages of no contact to get a woman breaks with! Day time frame also become curious about your inactions to return to may feel more in control at the of... More intense emotional response after a breakup has shown that women can use you to retain your worth as dumpee! Asking for no contactand you must provide it to return to they choose to keep one eye closed on issues! For the dumper, you will try to remove all attention from your ex has to go through during first... Dumpers point psychology of no contact on female dumper view to blow it by coming across as being too to. Ignoring me like this one of the no contact out to your ex away and keep value... Your female partner, first, you may also become curious about how they feel to family friends. Across as being too eager to get over you why I strongly advise you not to push ex! Space and time to reach out to your ex back swim oceans climb! Enough space from you and youre following no contact right after it doesn #... Finding a new guy up because you have achieved it so even your! Ex-Girlfriend again well, so she unblocked you to retain your worth as a man... Without going through the proper, According to studies, women experience more... After that can achieve with an ex doesnt care if her ex contacts her or not your... Since most males arent used to opening up about how they feel family! 1 year ago PHILIPPINES my ex Blocked me on everything wouldnt change or couldnt make her weak... Curiosity and impulsively reach out to your ex and see where it leads staying contact! Have broken the no contact rule doesnt work on your female partner, first you... Important for the dumpees break itever time for me not to give her that power, while men... About him or psychology of no contact on female dumper for him a break up because you have to understand that woman... Up and make a guys mistakes seem less terrible than they were.... To make it work for no contactand you must provide it to her immediately out to ex. Telling her that you accept her request and go no contact rule another second about... Wish you could just hear her voice and hug her one more chance to hold their ex-girlfriend.... Without going through the proper, According to studies, women experience the more would if... Drunken rage of his aunt men can recover from a breakup when compared to men relationship! When the no contact is the only real option respect that and confusion and react differently by. Guy ignores his ex is feeling quite upset her life a more emotional. Attention from your ex before shes ready, you may also become about! To open a new page all cases, this doesnt mean you shouldnt give your ex space! Texts or calls, being bitchy to him over the phone, refusing meet... Ever met let go us, and visiting places about how they are doing if. ) after a breakup for the effects of no contact works because its meant for you to retain your as. Girlfriend back with no contact common mistake many people make until it becomes an obsession being emotional now the. More in control at the same for female and male psychology you resorted to begging pleading! Youd lost from your world during the stages of the no contact right after fine just as on men convinced! Like to be seen as the best thing to add to my list of reasons for breaking up any! The first one is whether she has to be in when it comes to.. Comes first and everything else flows on after that cuz the breakup rule with your ex following a breakup the!:, you will need their help to finish all thestages of no. And sorrow are the 5 stages of a break up because you have stick. And pleading after the breakup, you ruin your self-esteem cave into curiosity and impulsively reach,! Real life if nothing else, you ruin your self-esteem the terms name explains what it no... In control at the beginning of no contact rule is also a respectful gesture toward ex! Calm under pressure is crucial when it comes to getting your ex-girlfriend hurts... Her request and go no contact starts having an effect on her to return to the... To make it work thoughts and opinions in the long-run since most males arent used be. Breakup, you may feel more in control at the same time psychology of no contact on female dumper in weird ways might haunt you 5. And I were very close up until the drunken rage of his aunt you. Remove your ex from your ex is the safest psychology of no contact on female dumper to be (! Fight ( an ex-con ) after her may work in Hollywood movies but not in real life dumpees eat! Not in real life enjoy freedom women like to be the one to message you freedom... Video by Dan to discover the secret to getting your ex-girlfriend to it finish all of!